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We’ve just come off a “fresh start” high! However, we all know the statistics of the New Year resolutions failure rate. It’s very high to say the least.
One reason is that the person who made those New Year’s goals is not the same person that will carry them out!! The one (you), that made them was not going through the pressures, commitments, tensions, time commitments and stress like the one (you), who has to keep them. However, unless we plan with the person in mind who has to keep them, they will quickly fade from our good intentions list.
As we get into the year we discover all the things we have to cope with. It’s usually fast-paced and unpredictable. Some of it keeps us awake at night. “What if_____________?”, and you fill in the blank.
One of the keys to following your good intentions is to begin with the qualities you already possess. You might not even realize you have them. Here are 4 that are very useful, especially when interruption and adversity attempt to thwart your good intentions. We’ll call them the 4 C’s….
Commitment, Control, Challenge, and Courage.
- Commit to being adaptable. You have the attitude that what you are going through is not going to get the best of you. I will change where necessary to meet legitimate demands. I am more adaptable than I think. Now follow your good intentions.
- Control whatever you can. Have an internal locus of control that says, “I can only control what IS under my control. “ So that area of control becomes your focus. You are not a victim. You become proactive. An external locus of control focuses on all the things you can’t control. You sense you have no control, so you become reactive. It might be just a little circle of influence you have. That’s what you focus on controlling. It might only be what goes on in your head and how you choose to behave. This will impact the way you look at the world. You will begin to see the positives. There is an optimistic mindset that begins to shape your behavior. Now follow your good intentions.
- Reframe the Challenge. This is where anxiety can get the best of you. By reframing the challenge, you reduce its control over you. You don’t create an atmosphere of doom and gloom, where you start to go down that catastrophic rabbit hole. You are a non-anxious presence, which reduces your anxiety. Some reframe by finding the humor in a situation. As you reframe the issue, you become a more objective observer. You have now turned your non-thinking reaction cycle into something more helpful. You are able to look at it and say, “What do I believe at this very moment that makes me anxious about this project, this problem, this situation or this person?” If you are like me, you will discover that most of the beliefs about these challenges now reframed, are not that accurate. Now follow your good intentions.
- Focus on Courage. Courage and fear are two sides of the same coin. Courage doesn’t exist without fear. Courage shows you that fear is the worst of it. It’s your real enemy. Courage is the emancipator to your fear. It frees you from allowing fear to hold you back. Courage says get out in that stormy weather and kick fear as hard as you can. Stare it down and walk into the storm. As you take that first step, the rain begins to kiss your skin. I’ve discovered that once I’m wet, I don’t fear the rain anymore. When we acknowledge our fears is when we see our courage. Others see it too. Identifying those fears helps us to see an actual threat as opposed to living in a perpetual state of fear. We have now turned fear into a problem, and problems can be solved. The problem named is the problem solved. Now follow your good intentions.
Develop the thoughts that will help you grow. Live the life you’re proud of. Trust the capabilities you have.
And remember…
- You are more adaptable than you thought
- You have more control than you think
- You experience more stress than necessary
- You have more courage in the face of fear than you realize
Now follow your good intentions.
Join me in this journey through 2016!