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Rarely have I heard anyone say to me, “Have an average day”. We have been programmed to believe that average is substandard. “Exceptional” has become the “new” average. Facebook depicts one exceptional life after another – all bliss – no downside – frozen in time.
A world where everyone is trying to be exceptional has some side effects.
One effect is an increase in felt failure. If everyone is exceptional then exceptionality, by its very definition, becomes commonplace. It takes a pretty big load of denial to feel exceptional in a room full of exceptional people
Another side effect of being exceptional is loneliness. Deep down inside they know they are just an average human being. The exceptional often recognize this more than those observing them. Striving for exceptionality can set us up for isolation and estrangement from our peers. We can do this by trying to hide our humanness. Posing is a self-inflicted curse.
Reframing our need to excel is the key to happiness.
Here are 4 things to keep in mind that will nudge your thinking in the right direction.
- Your beauty is more than skin deep. Real beauty starts beneath the skin. We appreciate external beauty, but overtime we tire of it. Yet we do not tire of a person’s kindness, honesty, energy, sense of humor, and positive approach to life. Inward growth makes our outward imperfections less relevant. Physical beauty attracts us, but does not hold us. Appreciate it without getting attached to it.
- Your contentment does not go beyond what you give. The contentment you feel is in direct proportion to what you give. As humans we are designed to give. When we have a gracious attitude toward others we become more human – more average – and the result is more happiness. It’s counterintuitive.
- Your soul is poisoned by bitterness and envy. Life is brief. Wasting time on the drama that comes from slights – perceived or real – is counterproductive. Being bitter or envious is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die! Cleaning out this clutter frees your spirit to soar.
“You don’t have a soul. You ARE a soul. You have a body.” – C.S. Lewis
- Your greatest gift is your present. Living in the past or future is setting yourself up to miss your precious moments. Regrets from yesterday and anxieties about tomorrow wastes energy needed for today’s activities. Anxiety is a thought-created experience and not an experience-created thought. Check the way you are thinking. Remember that today’s energy will take care of tomorrow and the past doesn’t care.
These 4 tips will help you be an average human being – fully alive! And this is what makes you beautiful.:)
Which of these 4 tips is helpful for you and helps you feel fully alive? We would like to know…..please leave your comment below.
Sometimes we do not want average. The surgeon who operated on my granddaughter when she was 3 days old was truly exceptional.
Comparing professions, I thought that it is amazing that some people like surgeons save lives daily. Where as I work in the educational field to organize and create educational classes and programs. I enjoy serving others and creating educational opportunities but I’m not a hero like my granddaughters surgeon. He was also a nice guy – friendly and caring which is unusually for many physicians.
I’m content with being average but thank goodness we have heroes who go beyond average.
Ever insightful, Mick. Thank you for sharing and making me think differently! Teri
I love this post!!! One of your best posts. Keep um coming Mick.
Thanks Teri. I appreciate your thoughtful comment. Your response breeds insight!
If you read them, I’ll write them:)!!
Charlene. Thanks for your comments. The point of being average has everything to do with external comparison and conformity that lead to frenetic and counterproductive activity. This tempts us to pose as something other than our authentic self. The surgeon that operated on your granddaughter is highly skilled and deeply caring. He is exceptional because he has put his skills to work in serving others. And by the way, it sounds like you are doing the same in the field of education. Look at the 4 points again and I think you’ll see how this brilliant surgeon has applied them to his life. Thanks for preparing this next generation.
Point 3 &4 spoke to me. I want to be better not bitter. Anxiety and expectations from others eats at me. Attitude adjusent time I guess and maybe you can share a great verse or words at time of high anxiety!
DG, Fear and fright are helpful in small doses. They help us react quickly. And then it’s over. Anxiety is allowing fear to stay current and constant. Ask yourself “why am I anxious? What’s making me anxious?” It’s either a perceived obstacle or a limiting belief. If it’s a limiting belief, then change your thinking (this takes time and must be repeated again and again). If it’s an obstacle, now you know what you are dealing with. So deal with it, and get some help if you need it. By writing it down you can be specific where “they” can help you. “Be anxious for nothing, but by prayer and asking, let your requests be known.”