Let’s start with the obvious. We all experience turbulence. There is no perfect day unless you are on drugs! However, the core issue is not the detour, obstacle, or problem. It’s what we do with them.
So often a problem comes in the form of
- An overwhelming pressure
- A major setback
- A bad decisions
- A negative medical report
- A divorce
- A job loss
- Alienation from family members
- An accident
How do we develop the resilience to not just survive, but to thrive in these situations? How do we gain the hope and help to keep going forward toward a meaningful “second act.”
This is what I know. Sooner or later we all hit the skids. We all fall into the pressure cooker. At some point we all wind up with our backs against the wall. So what can you do?
Here are 8 guides that will help you thrive during turbulent times.
- Refuse to Die! When you’re down some people will write you off. Refuse to be labeled. Losses may deepen you, but they don’t define you. They are a part of your maturity, but they are not your identity.
Refuse to fade into a life of perpetual inconsequence.
You matter greatly! And, yes, we need you.
- Manage your Fears! Everybody has fears. Manage your fears by doing something about them. Identify them. Write them down. Knowing them well is integral to managing them. Which fears are real threats?
- Move towards them.
- Identify them.
- Deal with them.
- Dismiss the rest.
- Get Motivated! Pain, failure, loss, and embarrassment are great motivators. Embrace the pain and you will internalize the lesson.
Walk toward the barking dog.
Use pain as fuel to bolster your resilience. It’s the only way to begin a constructive comeback.
- Stand in your Strengths! Lean into your weaknesses, in the sense that you understand them and can manage them. But don’t fall prey to them, and don’t stand in them. The pressure you experience will bring your strengths to the front. Out of pressure and suffering have emerged some of the strongest souls.
The strongest people in the world are seared with scars.
The good news is that scars are stronger than the skin they replaced. And they are great reminders of your resilience. Use your pressures, troubles and adversities to galvanize your strengths.
- Get Creative! There are lots of opportunities on how you chart your course. If you want help, just ask. People want to help you; they just don’t know it yet. You don’t need many people in your life, just a few good ones.
Never lower yourself just to have more friends.
- Use your Emotional Intelligence!. Showing up for life is 90% of the battle. You have I.Q. (Cognitive Intelligence). And you are smarter than you think. You also need to develop your E.Q. (Emotional Intelligence). This includes problem solving, reality testing, stress tolerance, impulse control, flexibility, and optimism.
Since E.Q. is learned, it’s the differentiator in the lives of successful people.
- Take a Chance! Good things come to those who risk. Be vulnerable! Stop thinking of risk as a one shot do or die situation where you put everything on the table with one role of the dice.
Start thinking of risk as a journey of exploration.
We are programmed to think risk is one careless act rather than an approach to living. Life is an adventure and you were not meant to be “stuck”.
- Enjoy the Journey! The ultimate reward for the person making a comeback is to see her vision come to life in the real world. Look at every obstacle, setback, rejection and constraint as an opportunity to redeem yourself.
Every success requires some kind of struggle to get there. Stay positive. Be patient. Take joy in knowing that everything is going to come together – maybe not immediately – but eventually. Joy comes from rolling with life instead of resisting it.
God never made any material as resilient as the human spirit.